A Letter To Jenny

Dear Jenny,
How have you been?
I thought I’d write this letter –
To show how much you mean.

I thought it would be nice,
To let you know what’s gone.
What’s passed these years,
Carried by tears.
Oh Jenny, it’s been so long.

Since we went our ways,
Or you – went ours.
We’ve both gone different paths.
While love maybe,
It once was there,
That love could never last.

Despite all that,
My love for you,
Will always be with me.
For you were once a part of life,
And always will, Jenny.

But when you died,
By our dark choice,
The path I took turned bleak.
I lost all hope in life itself,
And the wonders,
I once seeked.

I spent my nights alone in tears,
Not knowing what went wrong.
I cried,
Over those wasted years,
Where I tried to belong.

I moved away to city lights,
Some months since you had passed -
Towards Eternal Godly heights –
But deep down, I still am masked.

And I think sometimes,
What might have been –
If you had joined this world?
Of City Streets scarred with its grime,
Those things that you’d have seen.

And in a world, a sorry world,
Your mother and poor I,
Would not have been,
What you deserved –
For that, is why I cry.

When I deep down, try to explain,
The darkness of this place,
I can but frown,
It was not my right,
That you shan’t have a face.
Or see your years through childish eyes,
And run to simply run.
To smile when all is pure surprise,
To lie out in the sun.
To learn, to write, to make a friend,
Look forward to each day,
To what thoughts your mind would send.
We took that joy away.

And I ask of you forgiveness,
But not to ever leave me,
Your spirit gives my life some hope,
So others shall not grieve me.

I even drew upon a page,
An image for my skin.
So with me till the day I die,
You’ll always be within.

And even went to see a soul,
To try and help me look,
Towards a day when I would smile,
But time, that’s all it took.

Taken far away from me,
The depth of who I am,
As I lost sight of all around,
As if caught in the sand.

I am one who once hoped,
To fit in with this life,
To grasp such things,
It was in dreaming that I coped.

But life moves on, and I have not,
I still am trapped in then.
When once was I,
I once was when,
And now I simply cry.

But Jenny, yes, there was a time,
Some moments filled, a glimpse.
That I could be a stronger soul,
But from then – times passed since.

For it is much to my horror,
The world is not as it seems,
We live and we die,
We laugh and we cry,
We lose what once were dreams.

Your mother and myself don’t talk,
Nor see each other now,
I’ve no remembrance of what was,
But just of tears off brows.

But can I make a promise, dear?
Your passing shan’t be in vain.
I’ll make you proud of me one day,
I’ll write soon to you again.

I shall not lose you in a mind,
That gets lost in it each day.
I’ll hold you deep, with in my heart,
With love, my sweet,
Goodbye…

Written By Shane Ferguson
On The 16th April 2005