The Great Change

How many times must you attempt to change before you actually can?

Is it about want? I don’t think it is. Everyone wants to change. What about need? Maybe, but I am not completely sold on that either. Even when you feel you need to change, sometimes, you never do.

What about a moment? One moment that makes you realise something, makes you look at life differently, see the picture in a different light? I think maybe yes.

Mortality is something we all must come to terms with. One day, we will die. Everything else will go on, and our biggest fear is that we may miss something good.

The truth is the thought of mortality, while terrifying at first, is strangely invigorating. Everything becomes real, not just the cities or countries we live in, not just the life that stands next to you on the train each morning, but also the week that follows this one. It is not just a line on a calendar; it is something to plan for, a moment to seize.

And so mortality grabbed hold of me with the Death of an Aunt, and subsequently hearing how scared she was, knowing she was dying and not being able to prevent it.

I realised no matter how hard you fight it you will lose. And, if you spend your time fearing it, you will lose even more.

And when that moment takes you, when you know how much you have to lose by not enjoying this chance, you will change.