The Ring

If I am going to do this, I really have to realise the gravity of what it is. I cannot let this moment pass me by like I have so many moments in my life.

I have seen the ring I want to buy her. It’s white cold, 18ct with a metal twist at the centre. The thing about this ring is, it’s not as expensive as what I would have gone up to, so I kind of feel I’m not getting a good ring. But you see, this could well be perfect.

Every time I look at it, I see her. I see the ever so slight offset from the real world, the difference from the norm. I know it is the type of ring she would love.

Am I mature enough to do this though?

Is this man here ready to propose?

Well, lets see; I’m in debt, never finish a thing, cling onto habits I shouldn’t, have low self esteem, etc, etc. All those alone would probably be enough to put me off. Yet there is one simple underlying foundation that is keeping this whole ring business alive:

I am excited about doing it. Surely that alone means I am not afraid. Surely that alone proves it is something I am ready to do?

I can say with somewhat solid certainty that she will accept. It’s what she wants. It is also something she expects. But for me it’s a big step. Letting go of a life I dreamed of when I was young, and never really had a hope of finding as I got older. Because the fact was, when my childhood was washed away by bullies, it was lost to oblivion too.

And on reflection, that was no bad thing.